


Spectrum

by TonksftMemories



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Compliant, Canon Het Relationship, F/M, Het, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-11-26 20:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonksftMemories/pseuds/TonksftMemories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon-compliant fic, following Remus, Tonks and Sirius from the end of GoF. Originally posted on ff.net under "The New Marauders".</p>
<p>The brightest pink can arise, even in the house of Black. Light can be found, no matter how dark. Pinks can fade to brown. Brown can fade to grey. Colours and shapes change, mix and mesh into each other. </p>
<p>There was a flash of green, before the final black.</p>
<p>Even if the black came to soon, it doesn't make the previous colours duller.</p>
<p>This is the story of Remus, Tonks and Sirius. It is a story of finding comfort in unlikely places. It is a story of changing seasons; of finding warmth in the winter and occasionally being stupid enough to try to face the cold alone. It is a story of drunken nights, hospital bedsides and post-moon tea. It is a story of friendship, of family and of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Less Than Cheerful Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> I originally began posting this fic under the name "The New Marauders" on ff.net in early 2010. It's time for new chapters, regular updates and a new home on ao3. I hope you enjoy this fic, review and continuously bug on if I don't update regularly (seriously, I really want to update regularly, you have full permission to spam my various social networks - they're all under the same username).

It was early in the morning, for some it was perhaps another day. Most in England were asleep in their beds. But Sirius knew enough to recognize that a new era had begun for the wizarding world, a war which had cost him almost everything had come back to follow him and had already affected the one thing he had left, the one thing which had been his motivation through 12 years of reliving his worse memories.

Harry Potter.

And so it came to be the one last reminder of his best friend had witnessed the return of the most feared dark wizard in the century. And the 2nd war had begun.

This was why he was waiting outside a small, dingy, 1-bedroomed flat, waiting to recruit an old friend into the rebellion. He had met Remus only once since escaping Azkaban, where they had allowed Pettigrew to slip through their fingers. He was not looking forward to telling Remus that Pettigrew had just successfully returned Voldemort back to power one bit. But it had to be done. And he did want to see Remus.

He knew Remus Lupin had probably been condemned to 12 years almost as dark as his, a good portion of which was probably filled with bitter hate towards him, confusion and regret. Sirius was very familiar with these feelings. Why would anyone so close to the Potters have turned spy against them? How did he not see this? He could have stopped it! The Potters could be alive and well, forever the happy family set in stone, in statue in the graveyard which he had waited 12 years to visit, 12 years to pay tribute to his inseparable brother.

After realizing Sirius' innocence, Remus would have redirected these thoughts, though after dwelling for 12 years, Sirius knew that he would always be a reminder of his bitter feelings and lonely years.

Remus returned home from work in a state of zombie-like tiredness. A nearing full moon and working night shifts tended to do that to him. I wasn't until a voice called out that he noticed a thin man in ragged, grey robes with long, black, matted hair.

"I was wondering when you would be getting home, Remus."

Shocked, Remus had his wand out before realizing who it was.

"Sirius! What- What are- Shouldn't you be…?" Bewilderment was slowly being overcome by a smile as he strolled towards Sirius and embraced him.

"Come on, better get inside" He continued, a curious smile on his face.

Remus was the first to speak.

"It's good to see that you're okay, but, shouldn't you be… somewhere else? Preferably out of the country. And preferably transformed?"

"I was for a bit. But I've been fulfilling my duty as godfather, which is easier closer to Hogwarts. And now I've been sent here, by Dumbledore. I have some news."

"Hungry?"

"Sure, but we should talk first."

Noting his grim tone, Remus sat at his table, his smile, so wide, was now replaced as the lines of worry appeared. Sirius sat, breathed deeply, looking at the table.

"Where to begin…?" Sirius muttered to himself, "Have you been getting the daily prophet?"

"Yeah, I know about Harry's name in the- Wait! The third task was today! It's about that isn't it? What happened? Is Harry okay?"

"He's fine… now at least, anyways", said Sirius, though he avoided Remus' eyes as though he was ashamed.

"Padfoot, what-"

"Voldemort's back".

Remus opened his mouth but nothing came out. After a moment he managed to choke out, "Harry? What? How? Harry wasn't? What happened, Sirius?" He finished, desperately, his hands clutching at his table.

"Harry was there, he used Harry to get his body back. He transported Harry from the third task, via a portkey. No-one knew he'd gone, they couldn't see, they were in a maze."

"How could…? Wait, used Harry? What do you mean?"

"Pettigrew" Sirius spat furiously, "made a potion! "Bone of the father, flesh of the servant-" Remus noted Sirius clenched fists, and found his hands also clenched into tight fists.

"-And blood of the enemy"

Remus turned white, and whispered, "Harry… Peter?" but got no reply as Sirius had his head in his hands.

Remus knew it was Peter to turned in the Potters, gave them to Voldemort, but somewhere he'd always hoped he was forced into it, that he would turn away, at least regret it. Yet the fact that after Sirius escaping and finding his hidey hole he had gone right back to Voldemort shocked him. He thought it was a last resort, that he I must have been threatened for, but he returned freely.

"He stabbed Harry, he stabbed James' son, to bring back the murder of James and Lily. He passed information to them for over a year. He wasn't even threatened. Voldemort wouldn't have even bothered to threaten him, would think he knew nothing." Saying it aloud finally made it sink in for Remus.

"Filthy, selfish piece of shit," Sirius hissed, "He was always the little rat. How did we not see it, Moony?"

A long silence insured, as two men, both stricken by misfortune since before they could remember, being a werewolf; an outcast of society, and being born into a discriminative family with members including the most coldhearted mass-murderers of the century, became part of the most brilliant, mischievous, tight-knit group, and though they were never quite whole, they were happy, only to have the solid base ripped apart, repeated some of the dwelling they had bot spent the subsequent years doing.

"I should get you some food; you look like you haven't eaten in 14 years, Padfoot." Remus said quietly, getting up.

And though Sirius still had a rather vacant expression he suddenly said, "We're setting the order back up. That's why I'm meant to here. Dumbledore is going to contact us here."

With timing, as perfect as always, there was a sudden knock on the door and after Remus hurried to open the door, to find Dumbledore, who seemed almost shining, ahead of the darkness of the night.


	2. An Innocent Suggestion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally began posting this fic on ff.net in 2010 (under the title "the new marauders". Early chapters (like this one) are edited versions of the chapters posted on ff.net, later chapters will be new to appear on the internet.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the fic & consider leaving a review.  
> Thanks for stopping by.

After being greeted and ushered inside, Dumbledore declared the need to meet immediately.

"Tonight we are meeting in the upstairs room of The Hogs Head. However, we will need to find a headquarters, one that is hidden; one that it's unexpected; one that's convenient." Dumbledore said pointedly, glancing at Sirius.

Remus followed Dumbledore's gaze to Sirius, who suddenly had a stony expression fixed upon his once-handsome features and remained quiet.

Dumbledore turned to send a silver array of silver phoenixes from his wand before turning back to face Remus and Sirius and offering them a flowerpot containing a white powder. Gesturing towards the fireplace, Remus pointed his wand at the fireplace, which immediately became filled with a roaring fire, bathing them in warmth. Remus threw the powder into the fire which turned green and engulfed him as he exclaimed his destination.

It felt strangely surreal to be sitting in a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix, like back in his happier days. He hated to admit to himself that he was probably happier when the war was on; when he had a group of amazing friends, when it didn't matter that he was a werewolf, but it was true, for the beginning of the war, at least.

He would have needed to keep reminding himself that it wasn't 15 years ago and that Lily and James weren't about to walk in, however Sirius was more enough of a reminder. Instead of the handsomely haughty youth, there was gaunt man in his mid-thirties. Bitterly, Remus thought at least he wasn't the only one who looked older than he should.

It was quite small meeting, with the only people who were not in the original order being The Weasleys and Madame Maxime, and a majority of the original order having died in the first war.

The old-crowd of Dedalus Diggle, Alastor "Mad-eye" Moody, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore, Rubeus Hagrid and Elphais Doge were all there, and Dumbledore went straight to business, discussing the ministry's position and saying what needed to be attended to, namely keeping tabs on certain death-eaters, quietly recruiting new members and guarding something inside the department of mysteries. Hagrid and Madame Maxime had already agreed to attempt to recruit giants.

Throughout the meeting, Sirius began to get frustrated that Dumbledore wouldn't let him do anything, under the pretence of keeping him alive. As his frustration peaked, Dumbledore changed the subject to headquarters and asked him anyone had any input or suggestions, eyes innocently scanning the table and landing on Sirius.

"You could use the Black family house, I guess it's mine now. It's got a lot of protection on it already." Sirius finally answered.

Remus looked from Dumbledore, to Sirius then back to Dumbledore, in time to see Dumbledore smiling at Sirius and replying, "Thank you Sirius, I think that would be convenient."

Sirius looked like he regretted his words as soon as they had left his mouth. Remus tried to make eye contact, but Sirius seemed to be avoiding it. Remus knew that the last time Sirius had been inside his family house was when he ran away from home at the age of 16. He had never told Remus what was the final straw that had made him leave, but he knew Sirius' only regret was that he didn't leave earlier.

Remus Lupin greatly respected Albus Dumbledore. He would be forever grateful for him allowing him into Hogwarts, as he knew no-one else would have let him in. But Remus felt uneasy, he knew how much Sirius hated that place, as a Gryffindor in a family of maniacal Slytherin purebloods. He knew Dumbledore must also know this, that Dumbledore must know that he ran away from home and that the black family house would be a perfect headquarters, unexpected and protected. Dumbledore was goading Sirius on purpose and though there was a greater cause, Remus thought it was out of line, as Dumbledore could have easily found another headquarters.

"You can have my bed; you look like you could use a decent sleep."

"You don't have to do this", Sirius replied, looking over at his best friend, "What if someone came looking for me here?"

"Well, if they do we'll know soon enough; intruder charms, Stealth Sensoring Spells, the lot."

"You can sleep in your own bed, you know. The sofa would be the comfiest thing I've slept on in 14 years."

Remus shrugged, "I'd prefer if you slept further away from the door."

Sirius sunk onto Remus' bed and glanced at the window, completely covered with dark curtains.

"I can't believe I have to go back to that place. That was the only shithole I thought I was leaving behind for sure. Azkaban, I might have to go back to, the war, well, that's back, but Grimmauld Place… Fuck."

Remus opened his mouth; unsure of what to say, but Sirius was already asleep, slumped against the wall, on top of the covers.

With a lazy flick of his wand, Sirius lay under the blankets and Remus exited the room.

All too soon, Remus awoke. Despite his disorientation at finding himself sleeping on his couch as opposed to his bed, he realized quickly enough why he woke up; a loud scream from his friend, coming from his bedroom. He snatched up his wand, and ran to his room and turned on the light, but found the room only to contain Sirius, who upon Remus' touch, jumped up and had a knife out, which he had managed to get from his sleeve.

"Shhh, Sirius, it's me", Remus whispered quickly.

"What's happening? Are they here? Are they coming?"

Remus was not sure if Sirius meant the Death Eaters, or the ministry, but he hoped that neither of them were coming.

"No, Sirius, you were screaming in your sleep, I came to wake you".

After a pause, Sirius whispered back, "Sorry, Remus, I… I didn't know, I haven't exactly had roommates, for a while, not sane ones, at least. Maybe you should cast silencio?"

"But what if something happened… I wouldn't hear it. Try and… well, tomorrow I'll pick up something for dreamless sleep", Remus replied.


	3. Back to the Old House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a song by the Smiths.
> 
> I originally began posting this fic under the name "The New Marauders" on ff.net in early 2010. It's time for new chapters, regular updates and a new home on ao3. I hope you enjoy this fic, review and continuously bug me if I don't update.

Sirius Black lay in Remus' bed, in a deliberately uncomfortable position so he would not fall asleep and face his nightmares. He didn't want Remus to know that he wasn't coping and the wake again to Sirius' screams.

When Sirius heard movements downstairs, he waited a while to pretend he'd had a good sleep. He found Remus downstairs, his head in an old, battered book. He looked up, and smiled at Sirius. Remus absent-mindedly shut the book, leaving a finger in the page he was up to as he greeted Sirius.

"Morning, Padfoot, how about some breakfast?"

Before Sirius could reply, a silvery-white phoenix had entered the apartment, melting through the bolted, triple-locked door, and emitted a voice that he knew to be Dumbledore's.

"The death eaters would know of your animagus form by now. They may also know where you are. Just keep that in mind while you're both still there. You're better off moving in sooner rather than later."

"Dumbledore expects you to get a new apartment? He knows you can't get work in the wizarding world!" Sirius exclaimed, as the patronus disappeared.

"Sirius… He means he wants you to move into Grimmauld Place"

There was a long silence.

"Shit, Remus! I - Moony, going back for meetings will be bad enough... I'd had enough of living in that place when I was 16. "

Remus finally let go of his book, the pages falling to fill the where his finger was, his place in the book, lost.

"It'll have the best protection", Remus said shortly, but not unsympathetically, "You'll need that protection anyway since you'll be spending time in London as part of the Order. This way, you'll have much less exposure."

"'Part of the order' is a funny way of saying doing absolutely nothing in the Order", Sirius muttered darkly, glaring pointedly at the floor.

"He's concerned about your safety", Remus said, who was watching Sirius closely.

"Yeah, the order of the pheonix is all about the safety of it's members. Tell that to it's mortality rate", Sirius spat bitterly.

Remus blanched and looked away from Sirius as he said quietly, "You won't just die if they find you".

Sirius finally looked up. A knot rose in his throat; he swallowed in the silence because speaking.

"Remus, would you want to move into Grimmauld Place with me? I don't mind if you don't want to-"

"No, I mean, yes. Yes, I'll move in with you."

"Thanks. I-fuck, we're moving into Grimmauld Place. I'm going to need that potion for dreamless sleep"

After a somewhat quiet breakfast, Remus quietly suggested they do as Dumbledore said, and move a soon a possible. It took Remus a surprisingly short amount of time to pack, with his magical ability and limited belongings.

"I think that's it", Remus said as he approached Sirius, carrying two old, battered suitcases and setting them by the other two at the door.

He looked up at Sirius, waiting, who was staring at nothing in particular. Clearing his throat, Sirius glanced at him, and jumped up.

"Right", he exclaimed.

Once they had a suitcase in each hand Sirius said tonelessly, "Make sure you apparate onto the top step."

Sirius swallowed and carefully avoided Remus' gaze. He thought of the place he had tried so hard to forget and the memories came back so quickly. He spun on the spot.

Sirius didn't open his eyes until he heard a pop beside him. Not wanting to show weakness, he forced his eyes open and only allowed a moments hesitation before opening the door. He was too generous to himself. The moment he allowed himself stretched out. Shaking himself mentally, he grabbed the doorknob, but let go, as though burned. Remus opened his mouth but unsure of what to say, he decided on a reassuring hand on the shoulder instead and forced himself not to shudder as he felt it emaciated from the years in Azkaban.

Breathing deeply and drawing strength from the hand on his shoulder, he grasped the doorknob and opened the door.

Lurking forward from the shadows came a small muttering, "Was that the door, I wonder who it is, maybe Miss Cissy has come back" he ended hopefully.

But the voice stopped abruptly, before continuing clearer "Madam, it's the ungrateful swine."

There was a long silence. Remus stood waiting until, deciding to ignore the voice, he picked up the suitcases but dropped them almost immediately when a loud boomed voice reached his ears.

"How DARE you come back into the NOBLE and most ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK! YOU ARE NO BLACK! HOW DARE YOU BRING YOUR FILTHY HALF-BREED WOLF BOYFRIEND!"

Grimacing, Sirius turned back to face Remus.

"Consider yourself welcomed to the noble and most ancient house of Black."

Remus found himself cooking dinner that night. Sirius had refused to ask Kreacher to cook and said he'd do it himself, but it turned out that Sirius couldn't really cook. Remus didn't mind, it was worth it to have his best friend back, or most of his best friend at least. Sirius attempted to help, but as soon as it became obvious that he was more of a hindrance than a help he disappeared upstairs and returned with as many bottles of firewhiskey and butterbeer he could carry.

"How about a housewarming drink?"

"Or 7?" Remus replied with an eyebrow raised at the many bottles in Sirius' arms.

"Precisely," Sirius replied as he dumped the bottles on the table.

2 hours later, Sirius had managed to consume most of the firewhiskey while Remus sipped butterbeer. Remus was torn as to whether or not he should stop Sirius. At the beginning, Remus was of the opinion that Sirius deserved a drink, but his drinking was fast and that firewhiskey was strong. Sirius was hardly robust, and Remus was sure that alcohol wasn't on-tap in Azkaban. It didn't surprise Remus that Sirius was soon very drunk, slurring his works and not able to focus on Remus' face properly.

But events took another turn as Sirius became very moody and taking Sirius' drink was both a very good idea and a very bad one.

"Always fucking trapped. Left this shithole, far too fucking late, only too be trapped in another shithole. Full of fucking arsehole family members, both of them. You'd think that once I escaped from prison, I'd be free but no. Albus "all knowing and all powerful who wants what's best for me" Dumbledore wants me back in a hole."

Remus, mouth-open, was unsure of what to say or do but Sirius fell asleep before Remus shut his mouth.


	4. Metamorphmagus meets Werewolf

Needless to say, the next morning Sirius Black had quite the hangover.

Stumbling into the living room, one hand clutching his forehead, he groaned loudly, catching the attention of one Remus Lupin, who was overseeing the dishes magically wash themselves.

"I'm never-", Sirius began.

"Realistic goals", Remus chimed in.

A short pause ensued, Sirius sending Remus a pointed glare, before continuing, "drinking quite that much after 14 years sober".

"That's a completely useless statement. When will you ever spend 14 years sober again?"

"If I go back to Azkaban", Sirius replied darkly.

"Shit Sirius, don't worry about that! People know you're innocent now, we'd bail you out! There's no way I'm letting stay in Azkaban again."

The pre-Azkaban Sirius would have made a comment about Remus acting his mother, but the post-Azkaban Sirius was deeply grateful.

Midmorning they received a phoenix patronus saying there would be an Order meeting at Grimmauld Place later that day.

Until then, Remus managed to brew a decent hangover potion for Sirius, who was laying face down on the couch.

When evening rolled around, the order arrived in groups.

Looking around, Remus noticed Mad-eye Moody enter Grimmauld Place. He moved forward to briefly grasp hands, before Moody joined the more senior order members. Remus went forward to close the door after Mad-eye, as everyone he knew of had arrived. However, a petite witch with bubblegum pink hair followed Mad-eye though the door, looking around before stumbling over the doorway and into Remus' arms.

"Sorry, I'm clumsy as hell; I tend to make graceful entrances."

"As demonstrated" Remus replied, smiling, a cheeky glint in his eye.

She raised her eyebrows, despite a smile forming.

"I'm Tonks"

"Remus Lupin. How do you know Mad-eye?"

"We work together; he helped me get through Auror training."

"Auror, huh? Well he didn't a good job in training you for Stealth and Tracking."

"I'm a bit of a hopeless case-", she cut off, catching sight of something, or someone behind Remus. Realizing that is it was Sirius, he thought he would have to explain a thing or to, until Tonks' smile grew wider and she hurried forward, squealing "Sirius!" and drawing him into a tight hug.

"It's good to see you again", she said on release.

"Tonks!" He exclaimed, equality delighted, staring at her, "Shit! It's been a while."

"Yeah, I don't exactly need babysitting anymore."

Tonks turned back to face Remus.

"Remus, shall I introduce you to my cousin's daughter?"

"Cousin's… but aren't your cousins Bellatrix's and Narcissa's?" Remus replied, with a glance in Sirius' direction.

"Mostly, yeah", Sirius replied with distaste, "but their sister had the decency to screw them all and marry a muggleborn."

"I hardly think that Bellatrix would call Mum her sister after that" Tonks chimed in.

"Do you remember Andromeda? Or Ted Tonks?" Sirius asked.

"Ted Tonks, I don't think so. Andromeda… I think I met her at your house once? Long, dark hair?"

"Yeah that's the one."

Soon after this revelation, everyone sat, Tonks in between Sirius and Remus, and the meeting began, Dumbledore introducing Tonks and someone else called Mundungus, who had just entered Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

After a meeting mostly about the ministry's attitude and the position of Snape (who was not at the meeting) as spy against the Death Eaters, the volume of chat gradually increased.

Remus and Sirius were debating about Snape, Sirius very stubbornly so.

"He's not that bad. You know he made my potion for a whole school year?"

"Well, he would hardly tamper with it with Dumbledore around."

"Dumbledore says he's changed sides so…"

"From what I saw of him, he's hardly changed, still as much of a slime-ball as ever, Moony!"

"Moony?" Tonks said curiously.

Realizing that Remus would not be answering this question Sirius replied with, "He's rather well acquainted with the moon."

"I'd say it's more of enemies, only he definitely has the upper hand", Remus replied.

"Werewolf", Sirius added at Tonks' obvious confusion.

"Oh! Well, I guess that explains the scars."

"Chicks dig scars", Sirius interjected.

"Yeah, it gives me pleasure to know that they've felt some pain", Tonks shot sarcastically at Sirius.

"Yeah, girls are a bit sadistic", Sirius replied.

"Must explain my luck with women", Remus added.

Tonks felt her heart sink, before realizing he was joking.

"Knowing some girls, I don't think it would hurt", Tonks said quickly.

"Perhaps, if I'd got them heroically saving small children, rather than clawing myself every full moon", Remus replied darkly, "Generally werewolf turns people off pretty quickly."

"It shouldn't! It's only one night a month." Tonks replied, before quickly morphing the blush from her face.

"Most people don't see it that way", Remus said with a sad smile.

Meanwhile, Mundungus, who was sitting on Sirius' other side, was looking around had asked, "Whose house is this?"

Once Sirius became preoccupied with the smelly wizard, Tonks leaned in towards Remus and asked quietly, glancing at Sirius "How's he doing?"

Remus opened his mouth, "Uh, well not too bad, considering. He hides it, I can tell. But he does sleep with a knife, scream in his sleep and last night he got so smashed he passed out. Well, that shouldn't take much after Azkaban, there's hardly an open bar there."

Tonks looking concerned, replied softly, "Look after him, yeah?"

At Remus' curt nod, she smiled at him, "Look after yourself too, Moony."


End file.
